I've written about new green working spaces. But this? No words. Just 3 questions...
Could you? Would you? Do you?
Photo: via Daily Basics
The Ones Who Know
I have kids that come and go. They are 23 and 27. They don’t live here, but they come more often than when they were in college. It took me a while to get accustomed to the coming and goings. Each time, I was surprised when the tears welled up as the bags piled up by the front door. You know, that nagging ache that blankets your gut when your children take flight. Really, it’s no different than the first day of kindergarten, or the overnight middle school trip, or relinquishing the car keys, or walking up the steps of the freshman dorm and being greeted by the smell of pot wafting from the windows, or offering advice about bosses who are borderline abusive. Each time, that pit down deep tells you to grab them tight and not let go…
Don’t get onto that bus. Don’t get into the car. Don’t step foot in that office.
But you don’t. You love and respect them too much to do that. Really. But we’re the ones who know. We know what we’ve given them. We know where they’ve been. We know what they are capable of. But we don’t know where they’ll go. So we talk like we've been demoted, telling them to text us when they get there. But they know.
No Such Thing As An Empty Nest
I have changed my tune over the last few years about empty nests. The pain is unbearable at first. The empty place at the dinner table cannot possibly heal. Then it’s swell. Candlelight dinners at 9 and adult conversations. Could all this freedom be real? Now I’ve come to the conclusion that there really is no such thing as an empty nest. They come. They go.
My friend Carrie’s daughter has moved home. I can tell it’s not easy. But it’s necessary. She writes an eloquent account of the situation, asking herself whether or not she’s mom enough for this new phase of parenting.
The Ones Who Know
A few years ago, I interviewed singer, Dar Williams. The themes of her music speak to many issues that resonate with me…the environment, family. Dar has young children and wrote this song as they began their journey. She echoes the ones who really know.
The One Who Knows Dar Williams
Time it was I had a dream, and you're the dream come true. If I had the world to give, I'd give it all to you. I'll take you to the mountains; I will take you to the sea. I'll show you how this life became a miracle to me.
You'll fly away, but take my hand until that day. So when they ask how far love goes, When my job's done you'll be the one who knows.
All the things you treasure most will be the hardest won. I will watch you struggle long before the answers come. But I won't make it harder, I'll be there to cheer you on, I'll shine the light that guides you down the road you're walking on.
You'll fly away, but take my hand until that day. So when they ask how far love goes, When my job's done you'll be the one who knows.
Before the mountains call to you, before you leave this home, I want to teach your heart to trust, as I will teach my own, But sometimes I will ask the moon where it shined upon you last, And shake my head and laugh and say it all went by too fast.
You'll fly away, but take my hand until that day. So when they ask how far love goes, when my job's done you'll be the one who knows.
Discover Dar Williams’ music here.
Photo: Chris Scott Snyder
10 For Mother's Day
Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.
~ Marion C. Garretty
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~ Milton Berle
There is only one beautiful child in the world, and every mother has it. ~ Chinese Proverb
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. ~ Barbara Kingsolver
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don’t even have. ~ Robert Brault
Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all. ~ Author Unknown
If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much. ~ Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. ~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. ~ Unknown
Photo: My mom, Joan circa 1955. I'm heading out to lunch with her now...
A Winding Path
Maybe it’s the work. Maybe it’s the strange weather. Maybe it’s what happens when you fall out of habit. Whatever. I let Econesting slide.
Blogging is a velvety, winding path. For me, keeping up with the demands of blogging must be inline with passion, for sale or why bother? Compromising doesn’t work. Enthusiasms shift and swirl, and passions take turns. I’m not swayed in my mission to share stylish green design through the eyes of a DIY heart. These things mattered five years ago when I started blogging and they still matter.
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I’m also a mom, and what I’ve learned from that role is that balancing on the path is the main act. Sometimes the path gets thrown off. Not necessarily off-kilter, or veering off-course...but, wound around in one direction.
I threw myself into my Moms Clean Air Force work. It was not because it was the right thing to do (which it was), but because I wanted to. Because it mattered more…more than design, more than going greener, even more than knitting. I know, my knitting friends are scratching their fair isle heads in disbelief.
Pollution matters because it burrows deep into the core of global warming. Global warming matters because our children deserve a healthy, just and sustainable planet. Period.
Now I’m working on restoring balance and winding my way back.
Thank you for hanging in there. Your kind notes about missing Econesting nudged me closer to breaking the cycle of not posting. My knitting friends have been the most vocal in my absence, and I promise not to disappoint those who choose to click needles over computer keys.
Enough about me, how are you? How do you find balance between the work you love and the things you love?
Photos via Freshome from the beautiful town of Jaujac, France which recently became part of an art installation designed by Marseille-based artist Gaëlle Villedary.
The Center Is A State Of Mind
The passage below is from a Seth Godin post. It reminded me of everything I loved about playing with the geometric drawing toy, Spirograph.
Follow Seth, he's awesome. And I don't use that word often. Ever.
The action used to happen at court. In France, if you wanted to get ahead, you put on your outfit, called in favors and hung out near the King, because proximity was all.
If you're in Kibera, are you too far from Silicon Valley to write an app? If you live in New Zealand, are you too far outside the mainstream music world to perform a hit song? What about an author who lives 3,000 miles from New York?
The magic of our new form of communication is that it's no longer one-way. If you consume an app, you can write one. If you can read a blog, you can publish one. If you can grab an ebook, you can produce one.
The center has nothing to do with geography any longer. The center is a state of mind.
Drawing: box64studio